I think that I am dealing with the grief of losing (mourning) only if I believe myself being a separate entity. Because it’s always the separate entity that believes she is losing something. And with the mourning of a relationship, we give up on all the imaginary imagery that built the story. And the body can feel a real tear.
But the truth is that the mourning of a relationship is totally different from the mourning during a loss or death. Because love is the only relationship that matters and it’s always shared, unless of course we are lying to ourselves.
If you have a loving relationship with someone, and that person dies, you may actually be under the impression that the love is gone and he left you. While in a relationship that ends with a break, it’s totally different, because it means that one of the two is not satisfied. And if one is not satisfied the other can’t be, and it becomes obvious that something was missing in love.
So this kind of loss is not about something that was real, but about a desired, imagined and projected love. We are the victims of our own imagination and desires. It’s like a bridge being loaded with bunch of weights and crumble before our eyes. This often happens in a relationship when both parties load the deck with his own vision, each having an idea of what he needs … If you mourn a relationship this means that you are a victim of your own imagination and belief. You believed that this relationship brings you what you need but if it ends, this means that in reality it would never have been able to bring you what you need.
This is why we should never soften oneself. If something is broken this means it never worked out from the beginning. And even though in both mourning, the body is missing. You must know that the bodies are replaceable. Love is more difficult to replace.
The moments of love are ONE in consciousness and it is eternal. This is why in the process of mourning; mourning is a sweet sadness, not despair. The ignorant part of grieving is a form of despair. But the spiritual aspect of mourning always leads us to sweetness.
His body inside a white sheet passed before my eyes, he left the house and I cried, but the tears were sweet. Because even though it was difficult, this sweetness part of the love we shared was still there.
Jess Bett said:
Love is eternal and a jewish soul is eternal. Lot of love from all your friends to your family and you.
תודה רבה !!